Blackmoor Vituperative

A custom figure maker called Sillof has created a series of figures for a Steampunk version of Star Wars that is really quite nifty. Check it out.

Charlton Heston, who won the 1959 best actor Oscar as the chariot-racing “Ben-Hur” and portrayed Moses, Michelangelo, El Cid and other heroic figures in movie epics of the ’50s and ’60s, has died. He was 84.

(from Film legend Charlton Heston dead at 84, Yahoo! News)

Peter O’Toole is just so cool. I just found out that he has written two books (autobiographies, both), and is in the process of writing a third. I intend to read them. I will probably have to go to a library: they appear to be both out of print and expensive.

In 1979, there was a Flash Gordon cartoon that I think about any time the subject of Flash Gordon comes up in conversation. I still recall the fantastic spaceship designs, Ming’s menacing metal army, and the seductive swivel-hip-action of Princess Aura. To my thirteen-year-old eyes, this was the best cartoon I’d ever seen. According to Wikipedia,

“The series was an homage to the original Flash Gordon comic strip and featured most of the original characters, including Flash’s girlfriend Dale Arden, and the scientist Hans Zarkov. The series is still regarded to be not only one of the most faithful adaptations, but also one of Filmation’s finest overall efforts to this day.” [1]

I have been looking for this episode on DVD ever since old television shows started showing up on DVD. As it turns out, I was not looking closely enough, because the show was released on DVD in 2006!

I rediscovered some other gems of that era during my search, as well: Blackstar (a guy with a magic sword who rides a dragon — a classic!), Josie And The Pussycats (my first exposure to cat-girls), the short-lived Star Trek animated series, and Isis (who introduced me to the wonders of Egyptian mythology).

The one of these I am looking forward to seeing most (aside from Flash Gordon) is Josie And The Pussycats. Although the show was technically a spin-off of the Archies, it really owed a great deal more to Scooby Doo, with its fun (if simplistic) plots, engaging characters, and musical chase scenes. Incidentally, I am also a huge Scooby Doo fan (although I think it went downhill when they started meeting Don Knotts, the Harlem Globetrotters, and the Addams Family).

Oh, and you know what started all of this? I was actually looking for Superman DVDs.

Little did we know that Darth Vader is a a blues man.

There is an amusing and not-too-far-off screed at JIVEMagazine.com called The Complex and Terrifying Reality of Star Wars Fandom. I do not agree with everything he says (I loved Knights Of The Old Republic and the Clone Wars cartoons, and Lucas did not make Luke and Leia siblings “from the beginning”), but he pegs the major points. I particularly like this line:

Every true Star Wars fan is a Luke Skywalker, looking at his twisted, evil father, and somehow seeing good.

Anakin Skywalker is not Darth Vader. Darth Vader killed Luke Skywalker’s father. If (and I do mean if) Luke’s father was named “Anakin”, that Anakin died years before the events in Star Wars (not “Episode whatever” — just Star Wars).

Anakin Skywalker is just some asshole in a Darth Vader costume.

And “Darth” is not a title. “Darth” is Darth Vader’s first name. It’s no more a title than “Luke” is. When Obi-Wan met Darth Vader for the last time on the Death Star, he didn’t call him “Anakin”, or “Lord Vader” — he called him “Darth”, because they were friends once, and that’s the name Obi-Wan knew him by. He called him by his first name because they were on first-name basis.

Pretty much every major plot point introduced after the original Star Wars is inane. Luke is Lleia’s brother? Inane. Darth Vader is Luke’s father? Inane. Darth Vader built C-3PO? Are you kidding me? Why not make Obi-Wan into Chewbacca’s father and Han Solo into R2-D2’s long lost twin, while we’re at it? Or wait: Obi-Wan could be Lando Calrissian in disguise (or vice versa)! You never see them both at the same time….

When Highlander 2 came out, revealing that immortals all come from the planet Zeist, Highlander fans were smart enough to realize that this was ridiculous, and they rejected it. If only Star Wars fans were that intelligent. If only George Lucas were that intelligent.

The Star Wars franchise started great, and got worse with each sequel. It has a lot in common with the Planet Of The Apes franchise, although of course Planet Of The Apes is relatively free of the pretentious bullshit that has accrued around the Star Wars franchise like so much guano.

The name of the protagonist in Spider Season (the novel I am writing) is “Rain”. That’s not her real name, but that’s a long story (the whole first chapter, actually).

I like to picture characters as actors. It helps me visualize. The actor I picture as Rain is Rachel McAdams. She has large eyes, a quick smile, an expressive face, and she seems mischievous.

I also happen to like her as an actor. I really enjoyed Red Eye. I am not sure McAdams will be the Next Big Thing (what’s she done lately?), but I do think she’s a talented actor and she’ll have a successful career.

Here’s some news about her next role:

“Rachel McAdams has signed on to star in “The Return,” a bittersweet drama about three injured soldiers who come home from Iraq and learn that life has moved on without them.

Collee (McAdams), T.K. (Michael Pena) and Cheever (Tim Robbins) end up on an unexpected road trip across the U.S., with Collee on a mission to bring her boyfriend’s guitar back to his family because he saved her life.

T.K., meanwhile, seeks the confidence to face his wife after a shrapnel injury that threatens his sexual function, and middle-aged Cheever plans to hit the casinos in a desperate effort to pay for his son’s college tuition.

Neil Burger (”The Illusionist”) will direct the independently financed project, which Lionsgate will distribute. The budget is less than $20 million.

McAdams, known for her work in “The Notebook” and “Wedding Crashers,” most recently appeared in “The Family Stone.”

Sounds like kind of a chick movie, but I’ll go see it. I hope she’s a brunette in this one. She’s a natural blonde, but I think she looks better with dark hair. Rain has unkempt dark hair.

Rain is a slim, pale human girl with an athletic, almost boyish figure (64" tall, 113 pounds). Her hair is a wild black mane that falls to between her shoulderblades before being gathered into a half-dozen long, slender braids. Her features are angular and mischievous, her large eyes and wide mouth giving her a vaguely elf-like cast.

I wrote that long before I heard of Rachel McAdams, but doesn’t it sound like her?

Since we moved to Richmond, Susan and I don’t get down to the Chesapeake Library for Fantasmo Cult Cinema like we used to, but we did get to attend the all-night schlock-a-thon this past weekend. The high point of the evening was, I think, the peculiar musical The Apple. I considered myself something of an expert on bad movies, yet I had never heard of this film. You owe it to yourself to see this if you get the chance. It’s not every day that one sees General Zod singing disco in an airport.

By the way, the site I linked to above, The Unknown Movies, has reviews for quite a few lesser-known films, and not all of them are bad. It’s worth checking out.

You need to see this movie. Buy it from Amazon or rent it from NetFlix. Don’t bother looking for it at Blockbuster or Wal-Mart — I do not care for seeing art bowdlerized by sniveling moral busybodies, whether its by some blue-vested crone at Wal-Mart or by some middle-aged former soccer-mom in a secret tribunal at MPAA headquarters.

By all means, label things accurately. If it has full frontal nudity, say so. If it has graphic decapitations, say so. But do not have the unmitigated arrogance to tell me what I as an adult may see or buy, or what I as a parent may allow my children to see.

Some will say that what the MPAA, Blockbuster, and Wal-Mart do is not censorship. To that, I say “bullshit”.

See this movie, and watch all of the special features. The deleted scenes are worth watching.