{"id":7164,"date":"2020-10-11T13:44:21","date_gmt":"2020-10-11T18:44:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.blackgate.net\/blog\/?p=7164"},"modified":"2020-10-11T13:49:51","modified_gmt":"2020-10-11T18:49:51","slug":"figli-gets-a-haircut","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blackgate.net\/blog\/figli-gets-a-haircut\/","title":{"rendered":"Figli gets a haircut"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This is one of a few in-character World Of Warcraft blog posts I wrote in the early 2000s and posted to rp-haven.com. The author of this is Figli Brassboots, a gnomish warrior, like his father Fugli before him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Click the thumbnails for larger images with more details.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

May 17, 2009, “Figli gets a haircut”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Figli<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

“What can I do for ya, bub?” ze goblin said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I am needing ze haircut!” I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"I<\/a>
“I am needing ze haircut!<\/strong>“<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

“I got what you need!” ze goblin said with great confidence. “Hop in da chair.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today ist ze day! Today I meet with ze representatives of ze Commonwealth, a guild devoted to ze honest pursuits and ze protection of ze innocent peoples. But first, I need to be making myself presentable, und zo I am going to get a haircut!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Hokay!” Und I hopped into ze special barber chair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ze goblin tugged und combed und re-arranged mein hair, und zen spun me around to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Whatcha think?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Zis<\/a>
“Zis is much too shaggy.<\/strong>“<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

“Nein, nein,” I said. “Zis is much too shaggy. I am needing more structure.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Structure, huh? You got it, bub.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ze goblin tugged und combed und re-arranged mein hair, und zen spun me around to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Whatcha think? Enough structure?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"I<\/a>
“I am needing not so much pointiness.<\/strong>“<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

“Zis is haffink ze structure,” I said, “but it is much too pointy. I am needing not so much pointiness.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Less pointy, huh? Okay, pal, I got yer meaning.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ze goblin tugged und combed und re-arranged mein hair, und zen spun me around to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Whatcha think? Better?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Very<\/a>
“Very aerodynamic!”<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I looked in ze mirror, and pondered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Zis is better, ja. Very aerodynamic! But I am thinking I am needing more hair on ze facial region. I am haffink ze interview of ze utmost importance, und I must have ze appearance of a gnome of a most sincere und serious nature.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Oh, okay. I got ya now. Serious. You got it.”  Ze goblin tugged und combed und re-arranged mein hair again, und zen spun me around to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Whatcha think? Serious enough?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Mein<\/a>
“Mein head ist cold!”<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

“Ja ja, zis is serious,” I said. “But mein head ist cold! I am needing more hair on top of mein head.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Oh, okay,” ze goblin said. “You shoulda said that before. I know whatcha need now.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ze goblin tugged und combed und re-arranged mein hair, und zen spun me around again to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Whatcha think? More hair on yer head.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Mein<\/a>
“Mein head looks like a bird!”<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

“Zis is no good,” I said. “Mein head looks like a bird!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Like a boid, huh? Okay, pal, I get yer meaning. I’ll trim it it up for ya.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ze goblin tugged und combed und re-arranged mein hair, und zen spun me around again to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Whatcha think? I took it in on da sides and da beard.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Zis<\/a>
“Zis is perfect!”<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

“Zis is perfect!” I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Und zo, I paid ze goblin his gold, und alzo gave him a generous tip for his efforts of such an extraordinary nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am ready for ze interviewing!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is one of a few in-character World Of Warcraft blog posts I wrote in the early 2000s and posted to rp-haven.com. The author of this is Figli Brassboots, a gnomish warrior, like his father Fugli before him. Click the thumbnails for larger images with more details. May 17, 2009, “Figli gets a haircut” “What […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gaming","category-writing"],"yoast_head":"\nFigli gets a haircut - Blackmoor Vituperative<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blackgate.net\/blog\/figli-gets-a-haircut\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Figli gets a haircut - Blackmoor Vituperative\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is one of a few in-character World Of Warcraft blog posts I wrote in the early 2000s and posted to rp-haven.com. 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