Blackmoor Vituperative

This is what we have come to: TSA security guards become so hysterical that they have to be hospitalized, and an entire airport is shut down, because a passenger wants to take some raw honey home with him from his sister’s.

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — The suspicious material found inside luggage that prompted the shutdown of a California airport Tuesday morning turned out to be five soft drink bottles filled with honey, authorities said.

A passenger’s suitcase tested positive for TNT at Bakersfield’s Meadows Field during a routine swabbing of the bag’s exterior, Kern County Sheriff Donny Youngblood said. When security officials opened the bag, they found bottles filled with an amber liquid, he said.

“Why in this day and age would someone take a chance carrying honey in Gatorade bottles?” Youngblood asked. “That itself is an alarm. It’s hard to understand.”

Investigators said the bag’s owner, Francisco Ramirez, 31, is a gardener from Milwaukee who has been cooperating with authorities. He flew to Bakersfield Dec. 23 to spend Christmas with his sister and was returning Tuesday when the alarm sounded.

When Transportation Security Administration agents opened one of the bottles and tested the contents, the resulting fumes nauseated them, Youngblood said. Both were treated and released at a local hospital.

“It’s encouraging that the system did work, because something is not right there,” Youngblood said. “The system worked the way it was supposed to, but it just takes time when you close an airport — and it costs a lot of money.”

All flights into and out of Meadows Field were canceled for much of Tuesday as authorities searched the terminal for other potential explosives.

The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Office bomb squad was expected to perform further tests on the honey to determine why at least two false positives were recorded for both TNT and the organic explosive acetone peroxide, or TATP. Bakersfield is about 110 miles north of Los Angeles.

Investigators want to know whether any chemical Ramirez uses in his gardening work could have left traces of potential explosives. They will also run tests on the honey to see if the smoke beekeepers use to subdue the insects could have triggered the false positive test.

Ramirez was not arrested Tuesday. Authorities initially quesitoned his immigration status, but said later he is a legal, permanent resident of the U.S.

“I suspect after this he won’t want to eat honey again, ever,” Youngblood said.

(from California Authorities Say Bottles of Honey Caused Airport Shutdown, Fox News)

Are we ready to call “bullshit” on this nonsense yet, and go back to flying without being terrified into hysteria by bottles of honey? Nothing the TSA has been doing or currently does makes the slightest difference in how safe or how dangerous airplane travel is. Either strip everyone naked, gas them unconscious, and make them spend the whole trip locked in transparent coffins, or leave us the hell alone and let us fly and take our chances.

Please write to your Senators and Representative and ask them to do away with this nonsense.

And someone please tell Kern County Sheriff Donny Youngblood to shut the hell up, because he is making law enforcement — real law enforcement, not TSA rent-a-cops — sound like idiots.

The cant of thieves runs thick and swift through our times, a river of melody cajoling the fools and feckless into greater abandon of their father’s house. We have forgotten our faces, go and reacquaint yourselves with the men and women who forged this fine country, absorb their clear ideas of freedom and abandon every false thing you’ve been fed by the political parties that dominate our failing country and debased culture. If you are able to cast off the decades long chains of ingrained lies, you can still save the country.

(from The Cant Of Thieves, Jaded Haven)

Happy New Year!

My sweetie and I spent New Year’s Eve at the Keswick Theatre near Philadelphia, seeing a three-movie marathon live performance of Cinematic Titanic. In the tradition of getting ram chips by saying good things and bad things about a movie, here goes!

Good thing: The Keswick Theatre is really nice. It’s probably the fourth or fifth nicest antique theatre in which I have seen a movie.

Bad thing: Being in a chair designed for someone born in the 1800s, between people whose figures are, shall we say, generous.

Good thing: Seeing folks from MST3K perform live! Whoo hoo! We had seen Mary Jo and Mike at GenCon back in the early 1990s, but this was even better.

Bad thing: Trace and Joel apparently have the same tailor.

Good thing: Trace still does a killer Barney Fife impression.

Bad thing: Joel’s “Gilbert Gottfried” internal monologues and “high pitched voice on the other end of the phone” routines weren’t funny in 1990, and still aren’t.

Good thing: The brothers on one side of us (shout out to Mike and Andrew! Happy new year!) were really friendly and fun to talk to.

Bad thing: The guy on the other side was alone, not interested in talking, and kept fiddling with his huge backpack (why? I never saw him take anything out of it or put anything into it — weird).

Good thing: Three twisted films, two of which I had never seen, and the third which was weird enough that I saw new weirdness even though I’d seen the film before. Good choices!

Bad thing: The aspect ratio was set incorrectly for the first movie (even though I saw them trying to correct it at the beginning — they left it distorted! Why?!), and the second movie was cropped to force it into a 4:3 aspect ratio, which ruined at least one joke. I don’t know why this does not bother other people as much as it does me, or why it is so difficult for people to figure out what seems so absurdly simple. Look, it does not matter what the shape of the screen is: adjust the aspect ratio until you see the whole image, without distortion. Don’t crop it, and don’t squeeze it in, out, up, or down to fit some arbitrary shape. Is that so freaking hard?

Good thing: Spending New Year’s Eve doing something completely new and different, and not being nauseous the next morning and wondering what happened after that third round of “candy corn” shots!