[x]Blackmoor Vituperative

Thursday, 2017-03-30

In the event of my death

Filed under: About Me,Philosophy — bblackmoor @ 16:32

My death is inevitable, and there is a reasonable chance that someone I know will outlive me and have some interest in my passing. As such, these are my wishes for the treatment of my remains and memory upon my death and for a short time thereafter.

First and most importantly, I won’t be there, so it really doesn’t matter what I want. Take my corpse to Nags Head and parade me around like Terry Kiser, and I won’t know any different. But if you care what I wanted, here you go.

  1. No viewing. Don’t bother putting my dead body on display. I wasn’t all that great to look at when I was alive, and I seriously doubt I got better looking afterward. Personally, I think putting dead bodies on display is grotesque.
  2. No prayers, no platitudes, no religious balderdash. I’m not in a better place. My death wasn’t part of some divine plan. That’s all bullshit. As far as the universe is concerned, my death matters as much as a light bulb burning out. I was alive. Now I’m not.
  3. No obituaries. Don’t waste money announcing my death in the newspaper or anywhere else. Anyone who cares if I’m dead already knows.
  4. Keep things cheap. My remains don’t need a fancy headstone, casket, funeral service, or anything else. Dispose of them in the cheapest, simplest way possible. Use my bones, skin, corneas, and various organs if you can, and toss the rest in a landfill, for all I care. Cremation and resomation (alkaline hydrolysis) are probably the most cost-effective means of disposal. And for pete’s sake, don’t keep the leftovers. Throw them away.
  5. Throw a party, preferably somewhere you don’t have to clean up afterward. Have an open bar, and invite the handful of people who actually care that I’m dead. I doubt it would be more than a dozen people, plus my family.
  6. No eulogy. I’m gone, and any chance for my life to have mattered has come and gone. If you feel an uncontrollable desire to hear yourselves talk, here’s an activity for you: each person raises a toast to my memory, says one good thing about me, and one bad thing about me, and then everyone drinks. Both the good thing and the bad thing have to be sincere, and they have to be something no one else has said yet. If the person whose turn it is can’t think of one good thing and one bad thing, then they just say, “To Brandon!”, and everyone drinks.
  7. Try to find a place for my various pet projects before my web sites expire. I hereby declare everything I wrote during my life to be given to the public domain after my death, not that I think anyone actually cares about a word of it.
  8. If Susan’s dead, find a loving home for our cat. Use as much money as needed.

Friday, 2017-03-17

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Filed under: Family,Food,Friends,Philosophy — bblackmoor @ 09:01

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Much like Columbus Day, this day has very little to do with the actual historical St. Patrick. What we are actually celebrating are the good things that we Americans have gained thanks to Irish immigrants and (if we’re lucky) our Irish ancestors: an appreciation of good food, good friends, and good beer. These are things worth celebrating. If you want to go deeper with it, and celebrate more complex aspects of Irish culture and what we’ve gained from it, that’s great, too.

If you use this as an excuse to complain about St. Patrick, the Catholic Church, or cultural stereotypes, you are missing the point.

Sunday, 2017-03-05

Cult Movie Night filmography

Filed under: Movies — bblackmoor @ 12:02
Date Movie Year   
2017-03-17 Leprechaun 3 1995
2017-03-17 Darby O’Gill And The Little People 1959
2017-02-24 League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2003
2017-02-24 Van Helsing 2004
2016-10-21 Stepford Wives 1975
2016-10-21 Invasion Of The Body Snatchers 1978
2016-09-23 The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra Returns Again! 2009
2016-09-23 The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra 2001
2016-08-19 Kill Bill, volumes 1 and 2 2004
2016-07-15 Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street 1982
2016-05-13 Them! 1954
2016-05-13 Empire Of The Ants 1977
2016-04-15 Doomsday 2008
2016-04-15 Damnation Alley 1977
2016-03-11 Black Sunday 1960
2016-03-11 Nightmare Castle 1965
2016-02-19 Cabin Fever 2002
2016-02-19 Tucker And Dale vs. Evil 2010
2016-01-15 Hidden 1987
2016-01-15 Trancers 1984
2015-12-18 Hogfather 2006
2015-10-30 Dust Devil 1992
2015-10-30 Hardware 1990
2015-09-11 Timecop 1994
2015-09-11 Universal Soldier 1992
2015-07-17 Three Musketeers 1973
2015-07-17 Four Musketeers 1974
2015-06-19 Adventures Of Ford Fairlane 1990
2015-06-19 Cast A Deadly Spell 1991
2015-05-22 Primal Fear 1996
2015-05-22 Final Analysis 1992
2015-04-18 Highlander 1986
2015-04-18 Flash Gordon 1980
2015-03-20 Great Race 1965
2014-12-19 Batman Returns 1992
2014-12-19 Bad Santa 2003
2014-11-21 Into The Night 1985
2014-11-21 In-Laws 1979
2014-10-17 Ghostbusters 1984
2014-10-17 Frighteners 1996
2014-09-19 Catch-22 1970
2014-08-15 Fatherland 1994
2014-08-15 Split Second 1992
2014-07-18 Earth vs. The Flying Saucers 1956
2014-07-18 War Of The Worlds 1953
2014-05-16 Red Rock West 1993
2014-05-16 Raising Arizona 1987
2014-03-21 Evil Dead 2 1987
2014-03-21 My Name Is Bruce 2007
2014-03-14 Evil Dead 1981
2014-02-28 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang 2005
2014-02-28 Real Genius 1985
2013-12-13 Road House 1989
2013-11-15 Tank Girl 1995
2013-11-15 Johnny Mnemonic 1995
2013-10-18 Legend Of Hell House 1973
2013-10-18 Burnt Offerings 1976
2013-09-20 Mystery Men 1999
2013-09-20 Specials 2000
2013-08-09 Phantom Of The Paradise 1974
2013-08-09 Suck 2009
2013-07-12 Night Of The Demon 1957
2013-07-12 Shadow Of The Vampire 2000
2013-06-21 Planet Of The Apes 1968
2013-06-21 Touch Of Evil 1958
2013-05-24 Dark City 1998
2013-05-24 Thirteenth Floor 1999
2013-04-21 Shining 1980
2013-04-19 Last Man On Earth 1964
2013-04-19 Omega Man 1971
2013-03-15 Big Sleep 1946
2013-03-15 Maltese Falcon 1941
2013-02-15 Logan’s Run 1976
2013-02-15 Matrix 1999
2013-01-11 Big Trouble In Little China 1986
2013-01-11 Showdown In Little Tokyo 1991
2012-12-14 Gremlins 1984
2012-12-14 Planes, Trains, and Automobiles 1987
2012-11-30 Silent Night, Deadly Night 1984
2012-11-30 Santa Claus Conquers The Martians 1964
2012-11-16 Point Break 1991
2012-11-16 Repo Man 1984
2012-10-19 Near Dark 1987
2012-10-12 Island Of Terror 1966
2012-09-21 Equilibrium 2002
2012-08-17 Trail of the Screaming Forehead 2007
2012-07-20 Godzilla vs. Biollante 1989
2012-07-20 Dark and Stormy Night 2009
2012-06-21 Re-Animator 1985

Tuesday, 2017-02-07

The gods themselves

Filed under: Society — bblackmoor @ 16:51

Against stupidity the very gods
Themselves contend in vain
— Friedrich Schiller, Die Jungfrau von Orleans (The Maid of Orleans) (1801), Act III, sc. vi

I have tried to defend the virtues of the South against those who attack from without, and those who seek to defile it from within — bigots, generally speaking. I’ve defended the rebel flag, affirming that it is an unofficial symbol of the South, and not a symbol of oppression or slavery, nor a celebration of the worst of our history. Like the American flag, the rebel flag has been associated with terrible injustice in the past, but that is not what it means.

That has been my position.

I am surrendering that battle. Not because of people who still blame people in 2017 for atrocities committed 150 years ago, but because of the people who seem intent on living up to the very worst stereotypes laid at the feet of the South. People who revel in ignorance, bigotry, and malice, all while waving the goddamned rebel flag.

Once upon a time, the swastika was considered a sacred and auspicious symbol. The Nazis, and the horrible people who continue to admire them, have ruined that, at least insofar as Western civilization is concerned. If the stigma currently associated with the swastika is ever washed away, it will be be many generations from now. Lifetimes.

Against my best efforts, I have come to the conclusion that the rebel flag has become so tainted that it will not be redeemable in my lifetime. Not tainted by tragic events 150 years ago, but tainted by people here and now who wave it proudly while proclaiming themselves to be scum of the absolute worst sort.

Was I wrong all along? Foolish? Maybe so. Maybe so.

Sunday, 2017-02-05

Happy birthday to William S. Burroughs

Filed under: Books,Philosophy,Poetry — bblackmoor @ 21:04

Happy Birthday to William S. Burroughs — American novelist, short story writer, satirist, essayist, painter, and spoken word performer.

William S. Burroughs

Sunday, 2017-01-29

I was wrong

Filed under: Politics — bblackmoor @ 11:37

I didn’t think that President Trump could possibly be the horrific disaster that folks were afraid he would be. That he’d be himself — a vulgar, self-serving narcissist — was obvious, but he could not possibly be as bad as the pearl-clutchers and hand-wringers were afraid he’d be.

I owe an apology to the pearl clutchers and hand wringers. I am sorry: you were right.

Friday, 2017-01-27

The strange case of Reggie Bannister and Dean Norris

Filed under: Movies — bblackmoor @ 22:49

From the files of… IT’S THE SAME GUY! We bring you the case of Reggie Bannister and Dean Norris. We saw ONE of these men tonight playing a small part in one of our favourite films, The Last Seduction (1994). Which of them was it? YOU make the call!

Reggie Bannister or Dean Norris?