Blackmoor Vituperative

It irks me that people so consistently misunderstand the world “soul“. A whole psuedo-religion has grown up around this misunderstanding.

Be accepting, patient, and kind. Good advice any day of the year. I do not follow it as closely as I would like.

“Grudges are for the weak and self-destructive. Do you want tomorrow to be better than today? Then stop stoking the fire of yesterday’s pain.”

Brandon Blackmoor , 2019-09-11

When someone urges you to “never forget” a particular tragedy, stop and think: what exactly do they want you to remember, and why? Is it that they want to honor the memory of those who have died? Or are they trying to turn your grief into anger? Are they trying to manipulate you for your benefit, or for theirs?

What do they gain by keeping you angry?

Where are they trying to direct your anger?

Think.

Your anger might be righteous, and it might be enough to motivate you to work for change. But it might also just be an easy way for a cynical person to manipulate you.

“A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. A complex system designed from scratch never works and cannot be patched up to make it work. You have to start over with a working simple system.”

— John Gall, “Systemantics: How Systems Really Work and How They Fail” (1975)

“It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out nor more doubtful of success nor more dangerous to handle than to initiate a new order of things.”

-Niccolò Machiavelli, “The Prince” (1532), Ch. 6

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

Matthew 25:40-45

U.S. Implementing ‘Third Country’ Rule On Central American Migrants Seeking Asylum (NPR)

Here are some tips on how to have a happy marriage, from someone who has been married for 28 years, and is still happy about it.

1. Date plenty of people long before you even think about marrying any of them. Have at least a few serious relationships. Fall in love. Make mistakes. Have your heart broken. Get over it. Fall in love again. Learn from your mistakes and become a better, wiser person. (Also, learn how to have sex competently, because that is not automatic.)
2. Live on your own for a few years (but with a roommate if you have to). Be responsible for your own rent, your own food, your own laundry, and your own time. Learn who you are when you are not living with your parents or at a college dorm. Learn how to survive on your own. Learn who you are.
3. Date someone (or even better, hang out as best friends) for at least a few years before you even think about marrying them. Have arguments. Make up. Be wrong. Apologize. Go on long trips together. Learn how to communicate. Learn what it means to commit to caring about someone long term. Learn how to compromise — and when not to compromise.
4. When you are finally thinking about marriage, live with someone at least a few months before proposing. Go over the household bills together. Learn everything about each other’s finances. Share a bedroom. Share a bathroom. Learn what it is like to live with this person — and let them learn what it is like to live with you.
5. Don’t go into debt for the wedding or the honeymoon. Not one penny.
6. Communicate. Pay attention. Listen, and talk, and listen more.
7. Don’t lie. Ever.

I have cat named Vixen. She is affectionate, and playful, and brings me toys so that we can play together. When I am gone, she misses me, and greets me when I get home.

Or she used to. About seven months ago, I brought home a kitten. I had hoped he would be a friend to her, a playmate and companion for when I’m not around. Unfortunately, he bullies her, relentlessly. She growls and runs, and he chases her. Or she growls and fights back, and they fight. This continues until I end it. She hates him, and she has good reason. She spends most of her time hiding from him. She doesn’t play anymore. And sometimes when I go to pick her up, she growls at me. If he has been bullying her, she might even bite me. I have a mark on my hand right now from where she drew blood a few days ago.

I’m not her enemy. I love her more than any pet I’ve ever had (and most people). But an animal who is angry and in pain can’t always tell who is a friend and who isn’t. They just lash out. All you can do is be patient, and kind, and hope they come around.

People are like that, too.

You see a meme from time to time that no one born with hate. That hate is learned. There is usually a photo of babies, or of Nelson Mandela.

I don’t think that’s entirely true. I think some people are born with hate — or perhaps, are born with something else missing. The part that feels compassion. The part that sees other people as people.

And I think there are more people like that than most of us realize. A lot more.

[sīəns fikSHən]
noun

“Science fiction” is that subset of fantasy that uses the vocabulary of science to lend verisimilitude to the story.

First known use: 1925