[x]Blackmoor Vituperative

Sunday, 2018-10-14

Doctor Who season 37

Filed under: Television — bblackmoor @ 19:52

Tonight’s entertainment was the first episode of the new season of Doctor Who (which is either the 11th season or the 37th, depending on when you start counting… I’m going to call it the 37th season, but I may be the only one). We enjoyed it, and I like Jodie Whittaker. I really hate the new Doctor Who’s outfit, though. I loved the previous Doctor Who’s outfit, and I really liked Peter Capaldi, but I got bored with his run by his third or fourth episode and stopped watching them, so I guess an outfit isn’t everything.

I am little a puzzled by the … what’s the opposite of a cliffhanger? Leaving things out at the beginning. How did Peter Capaldi turn into Jodie Whittaker? What happened to the Tardis? I guess it doesn’t really matter.

Tuesday, 2018-09-25

“Enterprise”, season 1 episode 15, “Shadows of BDSM”

Filed under: Television — bblackmoor @ 15:34

It took fourteen episodes, but I have found the first bad episode of “Enterprise”. I mean, the “Tripp Has Nipples On His Arm” episode was not great, but this is genuinely bad: season 1, episode 15, “Shadows of BDSM”.

Archer and T’Pol are captured by rebels. I’m only halfway through, but so far, Archer and T’pol have had a tied-up “Oops! My face is in your boobs!” moment, and now they are in Shibari style bondage and trying to eat oatmeal.

Ugh.

But most episodes so far have been pretty good, and some have been really good. For example, “Enterprise” season 1, episode 7: “The Andorian Incident”, featuring the brilliant Jeffrey Combs.

“For people without emotions, you sure have a flair for the dramatic!”

— Charles “Trip” Tucker III, to a Vulcan monk who just did something unexpected.

By the way, I haven’t seen any of these episodes since they were first broadcast. I seem to recall people being super critical of this show, but I am enjoying it so far. I really like the cast, particularly Jolene Blalock, John Billingsley, and Linda Park. But really, I like the whole cast.

P.S. I spoke too soon. This episode just got good.

Tuesday, 2018-07-31

Westworld Recaptcha

Filed under: Humour,Television,The Internet — bblackmoor @ 17:09

westworld recaptcha

Tuesday, 2018-07-24

The strange case of Stewart Moss and Bradford Dillman

Filed under: Movies,Television — bblackmoor @ 12:51

From the files of… IT’S THE SAME GUY! We bring you the case of Stewart Moss and Bradford Dillman. We saw ONE of these men playing a Kelvan on the original Star Trek. Which of them was it? YOU make the call!

Bradford Dillman and Stewart Moss

Tuesday, 2017-12-05

Armistead Spotswood impression

Filed under: Humour,Television — bblackmoor @ 01:39

Armistead Spotswood impression

Wednesday, 2017-11-29

It’s a thin line between love and hate

Filed under: Television — bblackmoor @ 18:44

My compulsion to collect overrode my aversion to “Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return” (2017), so I went and downloaded them from the VHX site (made available to me as part of the Kickstarter I supported).

Wondering if maybe I had been too harsh on it, I started watching an episode. I couldn’t even make it through the opening theme song. I genuinely hate it.

I wish that I didn’t. Ah, well.

Friday, 2017-11-24

Open Letter to Satellite of Love, LLC, Alternaversal Productions, LLC and Undiscovered North American Ape Pictures

Filed under: Movies,Television — bblackmoor @ 18:25

MST3K: The Crappy Remake (2017)

It appears that Netflix has committed to funding a second season of “Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return”. Congratulations, I guess.

Well, if you’re going to do it, here are some suggestions on how to make it better than the Kickstarter season:

  • Do not edit or censor the movies. This is not 1988. You are not on basic cable. If you can’t make it funny, either try harder or choose a different movie. (I could stop here, and that alone would be enough condemn the Kickstarter show.)
  • Have the voice actors control the robots. The puppeteering of the Kickstarter episodes was worse than the worst that Josh, Trace, Kevin, or Bill ever did.
  • Find voice actors for the robots who don’t sound exactly alike.
  • No lip-syncing in the theater. Seriously, what the hell.
  • Don’t riff the movies like old-timey auctioneers. It’s supposed to be comedy, not a contest to see how many words per second you can squeeze into the show.
  • Ditch the rigid, inflexible Tom Servo arms, and go back to the ones that that had movement and conveyed action.
  • Get rid of the stiff, ceiling-mounted Gypsy and go back to having the mobile Gypsy who can actually interact with the other characters.
  • Scale the mad scientist set way, way back. It’s not “The Tonight Show”. It’s a lab. Less is more.
  • Bring back the hexfield view screen.
  • If you are going to have props, have actual props, not the same laser-cut plywood cutouts every week.
  • If you are going to have an invention exchange, put some fucking effort into it. Jesus.
  • Have a real set for the SOL.
  • Do not pause inexplicably for ten seconds during the opening theme song. (Also, “yellow” is two syllables, and the music has one beat there. How can you guys not cringe every time you hear this song?)

I could go on (and on, and on), but that’s enough.

Frankly, I’ll be surprised if you do any of these things, because I think you have completely lost touch with what made MST3K a great show. But maybe you’ll surprise me. I hope so.

Afterthought

If you are a fan of something long enough, you will live to see it turned into something that is painfully bad (“Godzilla”, 1998; “The Phantom Menace”, 1999; “The Planet Of The Apes”, 2001; “Rollerball” 2002; “War Of The Worlds”, 2005). Maybe, if you live long enough, you’ll get to see what you love turn back into something you can love again (“Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, 2015).

So maybe I will live long enough to see “Mystery Science Theater 3000” be good again.

Tuesday, 2017-11-21

Authority figures

Filed under: Movies,Society,Television — bblackmoor @ 14:33

Humanity’s love for authority figures is annoying. “Alien” (1979) gave us a perfect, self-sufficient, self-propagating alien species. “The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.” So naturally a sequel introduced a superfluous “queen”. “Star Trek The Next Generation” gave us the Borg, a hive mind with no leaders, no individual thought: a society of perfect, remorseless unity. So naturally “Star Trek: First Contact” (1996) introduced another superfluous “queen”.

It’s like we can’t even conceive of a society without authority figures, even an alien one.

Alien Queen by Hideyoshi

Monday, 2017-06-05

Gene Roddenberry, optimist

Filed under: Philosophy,Television — bblackmoor @ 12:36

“The human race is a remarkable creature, one with great potential, and I hope that ‘Star Trek’ has helped to show us what we can be if we believe in ourselves and our abilities.”
Gene Roddenberry

Tuesday, 2017-05-23

Death In Paradise

Filed under: Television — bblackmoor @ 09:22

My current favourite television show is Death In Paradise. The setting is a beautiful place, and the main characters are basically happy, decent people. Bad things happen, but they are always wrapped up by the end of the episode, and the bad people are brought to justice. And the episode usually ends with friends sharing a drink and laughing.

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