[x]Blackmoor Vituperative

Saturday, 2021-11-20

Shallow and facile and selfish and destructive

Filed under: Society,Television — bblackmoor @ 23:49

So… okay, I interrupt my reports of the previous moment’s heart-rending injustice (which is 87% likely to be something found exclusively in the United States Of America), to talk about a show I like, and to also share an unexpected heart-rending.

I am currently watching “Upstart Crow” on BritBox on Roku, and I am on the “Christmas Lock Down 1603″ episode. Thus far, it has been a humourous coddangle of an episode, to enjoy over an evening’s thrillop and quentish. But what’s this? Will (Mr. Shakespeare, to some) says this…”I haven’t seen my family in months. I missed my father’s funeral. I never even got the chance to say goodbye!”

–record scratch–

Hold on: is Harry Enfield (the actor who plays William Shakespeare’s father) DEAD?

So I paused the episode, typed all of this into futtington Facebook, and then googled “Harry Enfield”…

Mr. Enfield is alive and well (as far as Wikipedia knows). So why would… oooooooh… (google “John Shakespeare” …) ah, John Shakespeare died in September 1601. And this, of course, is “Christmas Lock Down 1603”. Hang on, there: are we to believe that London has been experiencing a plague lockdown for … ah. Never mind.

KATE: After all, while we be locked in our homes, there be no land cleared, no rivers damned, no forests felled. Nature has its moment and all God’s creatures a year without fear that man will destroy its very habitat.

KATE: That has to be a good thing, doesn’t it?

WILL: Yes, Kate, it does. But it brings me no comfort, child. Because even if humanity has by some miracle used this time to take stock of the things that actually matter, and if perhaps nature has been given momentary relief from its brutal servitude to man, it won’t make any difference.

WILL: Because the second this is all over and humanity is free to roam once more, we will be exactly as shallow and facile and selfish and destructive as we ever were. We will have learnt nothing, Kate. Nothing. Because frankly, we never do.

Thursday, 2021-07-01

Papercraft Miss Mittens

Filed under: Art,Movies,Television — bblackmoor @ 09:19

In honor of the 20th Anniversary of Cinema Insomnia, I present to you a papercraft Miss Mittens. Miss Mittens is the co-host of the cult TV show Cinema Insomnia (as seen on OSI74!). Now her paper doppelgänger can be your co-host!

Click the image below to download the PDF. For help in assembly, review the photos after that.

And now for the step by step visual instructions. Careful with those scissors!

All done! Wasn’t that easy?

P.S. As a special Canada Day treat, here’s a Special Canada Day Edition of the papercraft Mr. Lobo!

Friday, 2021-04-23

The Falcon And The Snowman

Filed under: Movies,Television — bblackmoor @ 18:13

We really enjoyed the “Falcon And The Winter Soldier” miniseries (or as we like to call it, “The Falcon And The Snowman”). I think this measures up to the best of the Marvel movies, and is far better than any of the previous Marvel TV shows and/or miniseries (although “Agent Carter” was pretty decent).

And now, apparently, we are watching all of the Marvel movies we have already seen (which is all of them), but in the chronological order of the events portrayed in them. Fortunately for us, someone has already figured out what that order is.

So first up is “Captain America”, and then “Captain Marvel”. Which reminds me of what a disappointment “Captain Marvel” was. It could have been another “Wonder Woman”, if they had cast someone better to carry the movie. Samara Weaving, for example. Such a missed opportunity. I mean, sure, it made over 6x its budget at the box office (over a billion dollars), but it could have been GREAT, as good as “Captain America”, with just one change.

Ah, well.

“Captain America”, on the other hand, is truly a great movie. Not just a great superhero movie — a great movie, of any kind. Perfectly cast. Perfectly executed.

Dr. Erskine on Nazis

Thursday, 2020-07-30

Lucky Seven

Filed under: Music,Television — bblackmoor @ 22:21

You’ll wake up tomorrow, you’ll be glad that I came
Because you’ll be singing one of the songs that I sang
So keep a happy outlook and be good to your friend
And maybe I’ll pass this way agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain
Maybe!

Bye.

Saturday, 2020-06-13

Dukes Of Hazzard

Filed under: Society,Television — bblackmoor @ 12:41

Amazon may remove “The Dukes Of Hazzard” from its streaming service, due to the Confederate imagery on the roof of the “General Lee”, the Dukes’ gravity-defying orange Dodge Charger.

That makes me a little bit sad. They really were just good old boys, never meaning no harm. I don’t think they (or the people who designed the car) had any racist intent. I normally say “intent matters”. Because it normally does. But I am conflicted about this.

“The Dukes Of Hazzard” was my first exposure to decent people fighting against corrupt police. I was not aware of the history of bootleggers tricking out cars to outrace cops (which eventually led to NASCAR).

I have to think, that if the Dukes were ever told that the rebel flag was a symbol of racism and hatred, that they’d be horrified, and they’d waste no time in finding something better to paint on the roof of their car. Because they were decent, honorable fictional characters, and they would never cause pain to innocent people if they could help it.

Thursday, 2020-05-28

David Brent, vampire

Filed under: Entertainment,Humour,Television — bblackmoor @ 17:40

Okay, so, we watched part of “Get Him To The Greek” (2010) last night. And we both noticed that Russell Brand is using the same accent as Ricky Gervais used for “the Office”. And I got to wondering if that was a deliberate choice? Like, does that accent belong to a particular region of the UK, yeah? Maybe it represents a certain socio-political group, or a stereotyped mindset? Maybe a bit stupid? Maybe a bit arrogant, even?

And then, for some reason, I thought of “What We Do In The Shadows”, which is a TV show (based on the eponymous film) about vampires in Staten Island, NY. And I got to wondering what it would be like if one of them had this accent.

“So I was at this bar, right? And this young thing, this lady, not that I mind a young bloke, I’m not sexist. Blood is blood, innit? Right? If you want a bloke, good for you. I support that. But in this case, a young lady, right? She’s all forward, which frankly I’m not fond of. Leave a bit for the chase, please. It’s a little word in relationships I like to call mystery. Leave a bit of it, right? Don’t just put everything on the table at once. Let us have a bit of fun. A bit of foreplay, right?

“But she’s persistent, and it’s getting late, and if I must admit, I was a bit peckish. I do get peckish sometimes. Not that I’m always on the hunt. Just because I’m a vampire, that doesn’t mean I’m just about that. I’m my own boss. Sometimes I’ll wake up in me coffin, and I’m like, ‘David, are you hungry?’ And I’m like, ‘No thank you. Think I’ll compose a sonnet. Think I’ll be a poet today, yeah? Can I just stay in my coffin and compose a sonnet?’ ‘Ooh, don’t know, better ask the boss.’ ‘David can I stay in my coffin all day?’ ‘Yes, you can David.’ Both me, that’s not me in my coffin with another bloke called David.

“But in this case, yeah, I drank her blood and left her body in the alley. Think she was alive. Might not have been. Didn’t check. Might be breathing. Probably not. Don’t care. That’s how I roll. I’m a free spirit.

“No, but… yeah, she was breathing. Again guilty, unorthodox, sue me.”

P.S. No one else thinks this is as funny as I do.

Ricky Gervais vampire

Thursday, 2019-12-26

Cinema Insomnia animated GIFs, part 1

Filed under: Art,Movies,Television,The Internet — bblackmoor @ 13:01

Here are some animated GIFs I made for Cinema Insomnia.

Wednesday, 2019-12-18

Festivus for the rest of us!

Filed under: Family,Friends,History,Television — bblackmoor @ 16:08

On this day in 1997, the world learned about Festivus, the Seinfeld Christmas alternative. Let the airing of grievances begin!

Saturday, 2019-11-09

Z Nation is worth watching

Filed under: Television — bblackmoor @ 15:43

Just finished watching the final episode of “Z Nation” on Netflix (5 seasons total). Considering how many shows I haven’t even bothered to watch the entire first season of (Cloak & Dagger, Evil Sabrina, Star Trek Discovery, Game Of Thrones, etc.), that’s pretty high praise. “Z Nation” combines humour, action, tragedy, gruesome effects, and an appealing cast. It’s a damned good show.

What’s most surprising is that it was made by Asylum. Asylum making a show worth watching is like finding great sushi in a gas station bathroom.

Sunday, 2019-07-28

“The Boys” (2019)

Filed under: Television — bblackmoor @ 21:59

Just finished “The Boys” on Amazon Prime. Great cast, great production values, pretty good cinematography when they could hold the camera still (the sooner “drunken monkey cam” dies a horrible painful death, the better). If only they had used those resources to tell a story that wasn’t an awful piece of garbage. WOW. Eight hours of my life, wasted.

I kept watching because the cast was great and the production values were great. With those, you would have to actively try to make a horrible a piece of crap to keep from making at least a halfway decent show. Which is apparently what they did, because it was a horrible piece of crap right up to the very end. Just a beautifully made, well acted pile of garbage. I kept thinking, “It has to get better…” Nope.

This may well be the worst superhero show I have ever seen. Worse than the recent “Titans” TV show. Worse than “Mutant X”. Worse than “Street Hawk”. Worse than “Black Scorpion”.

If you want to see a show with the premise, “What if nearly everyone in the world were sociopaths?”, watch Fox News. Skip “The Boys”.

The Boys
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