Blackmoor Vituperative

We just watched one of the worst movies I have seen in a very long time. I have seen people compare this to “Alien” (1979) and “The Thing” (1982), but that gives this film far too much credit. If Uwe Boll were to make a crappy knockoff of Roger Corman’s “Forbidden World” (1982) (originally titled “Mutant”), it would look like “Breach” (2020).

Calling this “terrible” is an insult to terrible movies.

Fun fact! You can make a Christmas ornament out of a $9 Revell Snap Tite Star Wars Tie Interceptor model (link to the model).

1. Assemble the model.
2. Get a generic metal Christmas ornament hook, and one of those extra-long propane lighters for fireplaces, tiki torches, etc.
3. Un-bend the small end of the Christmas ornament hook to make it straight.
4. Heat up the un-bent end of the Christmas ornament hook with the lighter until the metal glows.
5. Push the hot metal straight down into the round part of the Tie Interceptor, but not so far that it comes out of the bottom. There is actually a tiny little circle on top of the space ship to show you where to put the hook!
6. Wait a minute or so for the metal and melted plastic to cool.
7. Hang it on the tree.

It doesn’t light up or make noise, but it is approximately the same size as a Hallmark ornament, and WAY cheaper! It fits right in with our Hallmark Tie Fighter and Darth Vader Tie Fighter ornaments.

P.S. The windows of mine are fogged up because I used crazy glue when I assembled my Tie Interceptor, and the vapours from the cyanoacrylate fogged up the inside of the windows (you have probably seen a similar effect on “CSI” or “Death In Paradise”, where they use crazy glue to reveal fingerprints on things).

It’s not uncommon for me to have a song in my head. I typically wake up with a song playing in my head. And it’s not terribly uncommon for me to walk around singing a song I haven’t consciously chosen to sing.

What was unusual today was that I was singing a David Bowie song (“Modern Love”, if you really want to know), and about halfway through, I realized that I was singing it in the style of Elton John.

So… huh. Interesting. After that realization, I started singing other David Bowie songs. And it’s funny, but most of the ones I tried worked just fine in the style of Elton John!

Naturally, I tried some other bands’ songs… Journey, Flock Of Seagulls, Queen… and it’s funny how easily that they lend themselves to an Elton John impression. “We Are The Champions” and “Separate Ways” sung by Elton John work particularly well, in my opinion.

So at this point I am almost done with my shower, and I think, I wonder if it works the other way around?

So I try , and you know what? It doesn’t work. I can’t do “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting” in the style of Journey or Queen or David Bowie.

So is that a strength of Elton John (or Bernie Taupin), or is that a weakness of my non-Elton John impressions?

Really makes you think.

Paul Bettany movies…

We watched “Uncle Frank” on Amazon Prime a couple of nights ago. Just FYI, it has a happy ending. I would have enjoyed the movie more had I known that up front, because I wasted a lot of time expecting something horrible to happen. Nothing horrible happens. Everything works out. So just enjoy the movie, and don’t worry.

Last night, we watched “Priest” on Netflix Streaming (it leaves Netflix today, so I’m not sure where you would find it now). It’s your basic post-apocalypse, fascist-church-vs-vampires movie: that same old story. Surprisingly, it’s pretty decent. The production design, sets, and so on are top notch, and all of the actors play it completely straight. This, too, has a happy ending. Oh, and the girl who gets abducted is currently on Netflix as the eponymous “Emily In Paris”.