Blackmoor Vituperative

Twitter is the very worst of humanity, delivered 140 characters at a time. It is the untreated sewage of the Internet.

It appears that Hillary Clinton has replaced Barack Obama as the bogeyman responsible for all of the evil things in the world that the Republicans are so bravely fighting against. So I updated my #republicanhitler meme. I guess when given a clear choice, Republicans really do hate women more than they hate black people. I am mildly surprised.

I think Republicans need some help selling their message to folks who aren’t yet completely on board with embracing evil. So I wrote up some taglines for them.

“Remember: there is always someone poorer than you. Hate them! They are to blame for their problems — and yours!”

“Good is weak; evil is strong. Support the Republican Party, and maybe we won’t kill you!”

“The only way to help yourself is to never help anyone else. A penny spent to help someone worse off than you is a penny wasted!”

“The United States is a Christian nation! Only the Republicans will preserve your precious religious freedom to support a Republican theocracy.”

“Remember: minimum wage laws are Socialism, which is anti-American. People who cook and serve your food deserve to starve!”

“War is good for the nation. Never question how much we spend on it. The more war, the better!”

“Remember: being a Republican is your only hope of becoming a victimizer, rather than a victim.”

“No matter who you are or what you believe, the Republican Party hates you: but we hate women and foreigners even more!”

“This message brought to you by the Republican Party: the party of lies, hatred, and death!”

“Making America Great Again, One Swastika At A Time”

I was bored, so I made these. They aren’t as funny as I’d hoped they would be, but what’s done is done. Comedy is hard.

Replace the word “Muslims” with “Jews” and then ask yourself “Do I sound like a fucking Nazi?”

Here’s a hint: if you have to make excuses for it (“I’m not racist! Islam is not a race!”), then the answer is yes, you do sound like a fucking Nazi. So either change what you are saying, or be prepared for all of your descendants to be embarrassed to be related to you because you were an ignorant bigot.