Blackmoor Vituperative

Amazon.com is having a huge sale on DVDs. Here are some that I plan to pick up:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force – Season One (regular $30, on sale for $13)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force – Season Two (regular $30, on sale for $13)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force – Season Three (regular $30, on sale for $13)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force – Season Four (regular $30, on sale for $13)
Ren & Stimpy – The Complete First and Second Seasons (regular $40, on sale for $23)
Ren & Stimpy – The Lost Episodes (regular $27, on sale for $16)

I just saw the most horrific, disturbing commercial I have ever seen. I wish I could find it online so I could share it with you, but Google fails me this time.

A woman appears whose face seems frozen in mid-grimace, her smile twisted and gaping like the Joker if he had been done properly. Slowly the camera spins around, revealing that the back of her head is gone. Her entire skull has been hollowed out and made into a little Barbie’s Home Theater room.

This is unbelievably ghastly.

Consider visual literacy and grow better media communication. No, Media Nipple isn’t porn, nor is it graphic violence. The Google warning you will see is simply a symptom of how utterly borked our priorities are in the USA.

In 1979, there was a Flash Gordon cartoon that I think about any time the subject of Flash Gordon comes up in conversation. I still recall the fantastic spaceship designs, Ming’s menacing metal army, and the seductive swivel-hip-action of Princess Aura. To my thirteen-year-old eyes, this was the best cartoon I’d ever seen. According to Wikipedia,

“The series was an homage to the original Flash Gordon comic strip and featured most of the original characters, including Flash’s girlfriend Dale Arden, and the scientist Hans Zarkov. The series is still regarded to be not only one of the most faithful adaptations, but also one of Filmation’s finest overall efforts to this day.” [1]

I have been looking for this episode on DVD ever since old television shows started showing up on DVD. As it turns out, I was not looking closely enough, because the show was released on DVD in 2006!

I rediscovered some other gems of that era during my search, as well: Blackstar (a guy with a magic sword who rides a dragon — a classic!), Josie And The Pussycats (my first exposure to cat-girls), the short-lived Star Trek animated series, and Isis (who introduced me to the wonders of Egyptian mythology).

The one of these I am looking forward to seeing most (aside from Flash Gordon) is Josie And The Pussycats. Although the show was technically a spin-off of the Archies, it really owed a great deal more to Scooby Doo, with its fun (if simplistic) plots, engaging characters, and musical chase scenes. Incidentally, I am also a huge Scooby Doo fan (although I think it went downhill when they started meeting Don Knotts, the Harlem Globetrotters, and the Addams Family).

Oh, and you know what started all of this? I was actually looking for Superman DVDs.

Diamond Dave will be appearing on Late Night with Conan O’Brien Thursday July 13th, 2006. The performance will be in support of the Van Halen tribute album, Strummin’ With The Devil – The Southern Side of Van Halen. Dave will be performing “Jamie’s Cryin'” with his bluegrass friends.

For more information: http://www.nbc.com/Late_Night_with_Conan_O’Brien/

Apparently, in Japan, Spider-Man pilots a Transformer robot.

As I am looking at the auditions for the second season of Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, a few of things have become apparent:

1) Most aspiring supers desperately need help with their costumes.

2) Most aspiring supers are doughy guys with guts bigger than mine.

3) Of the few aspiring female supers, most are doughy gals with guts bigger than mine.

4) Something about being near a wrestling ring makes people think they need to shout to be heard, even though they are speaking into a microphone.

5) A lot of people are unclear on the distinction between “super hero” and “renaissance fair volunteer” (huzzah!).

Here are my picks of the best from the auditions currently online. It’s hard picking good ones, because, well, most of them are just really, really bad (and not in a good way). Even these are just sort of okay, and not really good.

American Angel
Elementas
Fire Ant
Jetstream
Mama Voodoo and Wyld Cat
Midnight Wolf
Omnicron
Optimyst

I thought about listing a few of the worst, but I started to feel sorry for them, so you’ll have to find the bad ones on your own. Maybe I am getting soft-hearted in my old age.

I have never read the comic Painkiller Jane, but knowing that Kristanna Loken is going to be playing her in the TV series makes me want to check it out. I really liked her in Dark Kingdom: The Dragon King (one of the dumbest re-titlings ever — it should have been called The Ring of the Nibelungs, and I wish I could see the original version before SciFi Channel chopped an hour out of it), and of course she was outstanding in Terminator 3. And for all of the bad reviews it got, she was pretty good in Bloodrayne, too (although the movie itself is really not very good — the story in the computer game is much better — in all fairness it is leaps and bounds better than drek like Dracula 3000).

SCI FI Channel has cast Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3) in the title role of its new superhero actioner Painkiller Jane. Production on 22 one-hour episodes of the series, produced by Insight Film Studios, in association with Starz Media and Kickstart Comic Arts Studio, will begin in Vancouver next month.

Based on the comic book created by Jimmy Palmiotti and Joe Quesada, Painkiller Jane is the story of Jane Vasko (Loken), a DEA agent who is recruited by a covert government organization tasked with capturing “Neuros” — genetically enhanced individuals who possess superhuman powers of the mind. During the course of her first investigation with the team, Jane inexplicably discovers that she, too, possesses extraordinary abilities, which render her impervious to injury … but not pain. She develops miraculous regenerative powers, heals from every injury and finds herself stronger than she had been before. As she continues to work with the government to hunt Neuros, Jane tries to uncover the cause of her own transformation and what, if any, connection she shares with the very people she is pursuing.

Painkiller Jane is executive produced by showrunner Gil Grant (24, NCIS). Loken will serve as co-executive producer. The series is slated to premiere on SCI FI in Spring 2007, followed by a domestic broadcast weekly syndication window in Fall 2007. Starz Media will handle U.S. DVD and syndication sales, as well as distribution to key worldwide markets. Additional casting is currently underway.

Best known for starring opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger as the dangerously beautiful TX (Terminatrix) in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines for Warner Bros., Loken last appeared in theaters as Rayne in the feature-film adaptation of the highly popular video game BloodRayne. She also starred in SCI FI’s successful miniseries Dark Kingdom: The Dragon King in March 2006 and recently completed filming Dungeon Siege: In the Name of the King, starring with Burt Reynolds, Claire Forlani and Matthew Lillard, among others. Loken also produced the independent film Lime Salted Love, in which she also stars.

(from SciFi.com, Painkiller Jane)

I have watched three or four episodes of the new Battlestar Galactica. Although I enjoyed the pilot/miniseries, I find the actual series to be pretty dreary. The cylons we usually see are just run-of-the-mill human religious fanatics (which is both boring and annoying), there’s very little of what I would call science fiction in it, and the real cylons (the ones who LOOK LIKE CYLONS) and cylon raiders rarely occupy the screen for more than a few seconds in each episode. That is true of the episodes I have seen, anyway.

Aside from that, the whole show is dreary. There’s no sense of fun, no sense of adventure, no sense of hope. All of the episodes I have seen have been an hour of dreary grey people leading dreary grey lives, miserable and with no hope of ever not being miserable. I would rather watch a reality show about Russian peasants. At least they dance once in a while.

Fun With Shorts: A Touch of Magic