Blackmoor Vituperative

Any plan to include Google as a core part of a business process should also include a contingency plan for when (not if) Google shuts down that service.

Feel free to quote me.

It irks me that people so consistently misunderstand the world “soul“. A whole psuedo-religion has grown up around this misunderstanding.

This is the first of a new thing I am doing: tips for young people from an old man. Today’s topic: condoms.

In movies, you often see people get into bed and the guy immediately starts fumbling with the condom wrapper. There are two problems with this.

First, practice opening a condom wrapper and putting on a condom. They aren’t expensive, and you can afford to waste a half-dozen. Figure out what to do with the thing when you don’t have someone naked waiting for you.

Second, when you first get undressed is not the time to put on a condom. Women don’t warm up as quickly as men do. I am assuming the person next to you is a woman, but even men take some time to warm up — and women take longer (15 to 20 minutes is not unusual). So fool around for a while until the other person is thoroughly warmed up (that’s called “foreplay”). Only when you are both ready for penetration do you pause to put on the condom.

As for foreplay, Google that term, and read up about it. It’s not hard to do well, but it’s very easy to do poorly. Pay attention to what the other person wants. Ask them from time to time if what you are doing is working for them, and pay attention to what they say and how they respond. As a guy — particularly a young guy — if you pay attention to the other person, and are good at foreplay, you will be a much better lover than most people.

Be accepting, patient, and kind. Good advice any day of the year. I do not follow it as closely as I would like.

“Grudges are for the weak and self-destructive. Do you want tomorrow to be better than today? Then stop stoking the fire of yesterday’s pain.”

Brandon Blackmoor , 2019-09-11

When someone urges you to “never forget” a particular tragedy, stop and think: what exactly do they want you to remember, and why? Is it that they want to honor the memory of those who have died? Or are they trying to turn your grief into anger? Are they trying to manipulate you for your benefit, or for theirs?

What do they gain by keeping you angry?

Where are they trying to direct your anger?

Think.

Your anger might be righteous, and it might be enough to motivate you to work for change. But it might also just be an easy way for a cynical person to manipulate you.

“A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. A complex system designed from scratch never works and cannot be patched up to make it work. You have to start over with a working simple system.”

— John Gall, “Systemantics: How Systems Really Work and How They Fail” (1975)

“It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out nor more doubtful of success nor more dangerous to handle than to initiate a new order of things.”

-Niccolò Machiavelli, “The Prince” (1532), Ch. 6

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

Matthew 25:40-45

U.S. Implementing ‘Third Country’ Rule On Central American Migrants Seeking Asylum (NPR)

Here are some tips on how to have a happy marriage, from someone who has been married for 28 years, and is still happy about it.

1. Date plenty of people long before you even think about marrying any of them. Have at least a few serious relationships. Fall in love. Make mistakes. Have your heart broken. Get over it. Fall in love again. Learn from your mistakes and become a better, wiser person. (Also, learn how to have sex competently, because that is not automatic.)
2. Live on your own for a few years (but with a roommate if you have to). Be responsible for your own rent, your own food, your own laundry, and your own time. Learn who you are when you are not living with your parents or at a college dorm. Learn how to survive on your own. Learn who you are.
3. Date someone (or even better, hang out as best friends) for at least a few years before you even think about marrying them. Have arguments. Make up. Be wrong. Apologize. Go on long trips together. Learn how to communicate. Learn what it means to commit to caring about someone long term. Learn how to compromise — and when not to compromise.
4. When you are finally thinking about marriage, live with someone at least a few months before proposing. Go over the household bills together. Learn everything about each other’s finances. Share a bedroom. Share a bathroom. Learn what it is like to live with this person — and let them learn what it is like to live with you.
5. Don’t go into debt for the wedding or the honeymoon. Not one penny.
6. Communicate. Pay attention. Listen, and talk, and listen more.
7. Don’t lie. Ever.

ArmStreet just shared photos of a lovely set of actual functional SCA armor made of spring steel, approved by SCA wardens, providing better protection than a lot of approved SCA armors, and it got entirely sidetracked by smirking idiots complaining about “boob plate”.

Contrary to what some keyboard “experts” want you to believe, armor has often been decorative, as well as functional. The ancient Greeks were not the first or the last culture to incorporate an idealized human form into armor (for those that could afford it).

“Not dying is gender neutral” is a great sound bite, but it’s balderdash. Functional armor and decorative armor have never been mutually exclusive.