Blackmoor Vituperative

I received a letter from the Henrico County police department today. I applied for a position as an Animal Control Officer, and the next step is to successfully complete a “physical agility” test. In order to qualify for that, I had to go to a doctor and have them check me over for a “statement of physical fitness”. I passed! Chubby and old I may be, but at least I am not about to drop over dead.

The next step is the “physical agility” test in April:

• Climb a six foot barrier
• Complete a one-quarter mile run/walk
• Jump a four foot culvert
• Dry-fire a police pistol
• Drag or carry a “human simulator” (a 155 pound weight)

The first four activities must be completed in three and a half minutes, while the human simulator drag has to be completed in under one minute.

I am pretty excited about this.

In case I was wondering if my decision to get out of IT (eventually) was just an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato… the fine folks at TechRepublic and ZDNet have put my mind at ease. The era of independent IT consulting is, indeed, over.

Even as little as five years ago, an IT consultant was an outside expert called in to solve problems, or to create value for a business who wanted to find an edge over the competition. As the holder of knowledge and skills few others possessed, we were respected, and clients listened.

This is no longer true. IT has become a commodity: widely available, aggressively priced, and valued as much as a business values its janitorial staff or the company that handles its payroll. IT is simply another necessary cost which provides no significant business benefit other than to keep the status quo in place.

A good friend of mine, who provides technology policy advice to the state of Virginia, put it this way: when there is a job that your business needs done in a way that no one else is doing, you want to hire the best you can find and make sure you keep them. When that job is something every business needs to have done, in pretty much the same way, it makes sense to outsource it at the lowest cost possible. IT is just overhead, like janitorial service, or building maintenance, and it is put in the same category in the business’ ledger.

There is nothing here to “ride out”. IT has become a commodity, as valuable and respected and as easily replaced as light bulbs and batteries. We had a good run while it lasted, but technology and society have moved on. One might as well try to open a boutique that sells paper towels.

Dixie Sommers, assistant commissioner for the Bureau of Labor Statistics, recites a list of the 10 occupations that the BLS expects will provide the greatest number of new jobs over the next decade. The bad news? Six of the top seven fastest-growing occupations are low-skill, low-wage jobs.

Not great news for me. IT has become a commodity for businesses, much like janitorial service or payroll — a necessary expense, and one which a great many people are willing to provide, aggressively competing on price in the process. The days when legions of businesses were scrambling to hire the best and brightest IT people for a competitive advantage are over. We have become temps.

There is no sense in gnashing our teeth, tearing our clothes, and bemoaning a changing society. As with buggy whips and “copyright”, the days of earning a lot of money just by goofing around with computers is gone — whether or not people want to admit it.

So, what to do? Change fields entirely? I have not the stomach for the health care industry, so that’s right out. Switch from Computer Science to Accounting, perhaps?

Or perhaps find a niche that will allow me to struggle on, perhaps not quite as comfortably, but still in the field that I love. Perhaps I should strive to break into auditing, and work toward a CISA certification.

I am not certain. What I do know is that I will not be able to continue on the path I am on. It was paradise while it lasted, but nothing lasts forever.

This is for any potential employers or hiring managers who might take the trouble to Google me before scheduling me for an interview: I do not sign covenants not to compete. If you do not want me to use my skills for the benefit of your competitor, then treat me honorably and pay me fairly. It is just that simple.

There is an implicit assumption behind these “noncompetes” that the employer’s needs and wants are more important than those of the employee. Employer-employee is a business relationship. Each gives something. Each gets something. They are equals. Any agreement of any kind that favors one over the other should be rejected out of hand.

Have you ever seen a noncompete where the employer is forbidden from replacing the employee for six months if they leave? Of course not. That would be ridiculous. So why do people sign promises that they will be unemployed for six months after leaving a company?

When I was younger and more easily intimidated, I would sign nearly anything an employer asked me to sign. I am older and wiser now. If the agreement does not treat both parties fairly, I don’t agree to it.

Note that a covenant not to compete is not the same thing as a nondisclosure agreement. Preserving the trade secrets of a previous employer is just ordinary ethical behavior, and I have and will preserve those secrets with or without a nondisclosure agreement. Since signing a nondisclosure agreement will not alter my behavior in any way, I will cheerfully sign one — as long as it is a nondisclosure agreement. At least one potential employer has asked me to sign a “nondisclosure agreement” which was, in fact, a covenant not to compete. I suspect the irony of that attempted deception was lost on them.

I think I may get out of IT.

I am tired of Windows and the poor decisions it encourages. I am tired of companies that ostensibly hire you for your competence and professionalism, and then micromanage your software choices and filter your internet access. I am tired of companies that make ritual humiliation part of the interview process. I am tired of competing with people from India who are just as smart as I am and who will put up with more BS.

Most of all, I am tired of companies that see IT workers as little more than D-cell batteries of knowledge — just as disposable, and just as easily replaced.

Maybe I am just tired.