Blackmoor Vituperative

Minor hiccup in the remodeling. The contractors were putting in the floor this week, and after a day it became clear that although the color was what we wanted, the finish was much too rustic (“imperial handscraped maple“), with an uneven surface and dark lines around each piece of wood. I am sure it would have been lovely in a farmhouse or log cabin, but Castle Blackmoor is not rustic. So I stopped them, and they had to tear up what they’d put down. Some calm but firm conversations followed, and I gave the contractors more specific instructions on what I wanted (which I should have done to begin with).

Here is a photo of what I want.

I don’t know if this is the sort of thing that will interest people, but here is a section from the Character Creation chapter: “Archetypes”.

Archetypes

When writing up a character, it can be useful to have an archetype in mind for inspiration. An archetype is a brief description of the powers and modus operandi of the character, and their role in the group dynamic. Many popular comic book characters actually combine two or more of these archetypes. You aren’t limited to these archetypes, of course. These common archetypes are just here to offer you a jumping-off point for your character.

The Beanstalk

The Beanstalk can dramatically change their size. They might be able to grow to massive heights, or shrink down to the size of a dust mote. A Beanstalk who can do both can solve a number of difficult problems all by themselves.

Examples: Atom, Atlas, Mighty Man

Common powers: Growth, Shrinking

The Calculator

The Calculator knows the variables and takes all of them into account. The Calculator might be a chess master, a scientific genius, a brilliant military strategist, or a robot that can think millions of times faster than a human being. When there are questions, the Calculator is the one who comes up with the answers.

Examples: Mister Terrific, Henry Pym, Henry Bendix

Common powers: high Reason, Danger Sense, Immortality, Mind Shield

The Cannon

The Cannon is the proverbial big gun, capable of firing blasts of astonishing power. Since they focus on ranged combat, many Cannons have an alternate form of movement, such as Flight or Teleportation. Most Cannons are capable of dishing out far more than they can take, which is why they are sometimes called “Glass Cannons”.

Examples: Starfire, Cyclops, Apollo

Common powers: Blast, Flight, Force Field, Teleportation

The Clay

The Clay can change their physical form in some way. The Clay might be able to change their appearance to mimic other people, or perhaps they can take the form of animals or inanimate objects. Alternately, the Clay might not be able to take on other shapes, but might instead be able to stretch and twist their body in amazing and unsettling ways, or take on the physical attributes of various substances.

Examples: Plastic Man, Copycat, Menagerie

Common powers: (Element) Form, Shapeshifting, Stretching

The Dolphin

The Dolphin is at home in the sea. The Dolphin may be a ruler of an undersea kingdom (Atlantis, for example), an aquatic visitor from another world, or a freak of nature. Some Dolphins can control sea creatures, while others can command the sea itself. Regardless of their origins, a Dolphin in their element is a force to be reckoned with.

Examples: Aquaman, Namor, Fathom

Common powers: Animal Control, (Element) Mastery, Life Support, Super-swimming

The Elemental

The Elemental is the living embodiment of a force, substance, or idea. Some Elementals can physically transform into the appropriate material. Others can create limitless amounts of their chosen element, or mentally manipulate it. Some Elementals can do all three.

Examples: Red Tornado, Human Torch, Jenny Sparks

Common powers: Blast, (Element) Form, (Element) Mastery

The Gadget

The Gadget isn’t the strongest or fastest character around, but they always seem to have a gizmo or incantation on hand to make up for it. The Gadget might have a utility belt filled with clever devices, or they might be a magician with a spell for every occasion. With the Gadget on the team, you’ll probably have the right tool for the job.

Examples: Zatanna, Iron Man, The Engineer

Common powers: Force Field, Super-senses, (Ultra-power)

The Hammer

The Hammer is the heaviest hitter in the neighborhood, and perhaps one of the heaviest hitters in the entire world. The Hammer is usually super-strong, but they might have a mighty weapon instead of great strength (or in addition to it).

Examples: Superman, Thor, Mister Majestic

Common powers: high Brawn, Invulnerability, Strike

The Mirror

The Mirror wields forces beyond the material world. The Mirror might be a sorcerer, a psychic, or a mathematician who has unlocked the secret equation that controls the universe. When the paranormal knocks, the Mirror is the character who answers the door.

Examples: Doctor Fate, Professor X, The Doctor

Common powers: Amazing Movement, Mind Shield, Telepathy, (Ultra-power)

The Rocket

The Rocket is fast — super fast. The Rocket might be born to move with preternatural quickness, their speed might come from years of training, or they may just wear a jet pack. The Rocket may be a runner or a flyer (or, rarely, a swimmer), but whether it’s by land, by air, or by sea, few vehicles and fewer characters can keep up with the Rocket.

Examples: Flash, Quicksilver, Swift

Common powers: high Agility, high Prowess, Haste, Multiple Attacks, Super-Running, Flight

The Shadow

The Shadow can go where no one else can go, and can appear and disappear without a trace. The Shadow might be a super-spy, a ninja, or even a ghost. However they do it, the Shadow makes being spooky look easy.

Examples: Batman, Black Widow, Spawn

Common powers: Flight, Intangibility, Invisibility, Swinging, Teleportation

The Sword

The Sword is a fighter, through and through. They may hail from an ancient warrior tradition, they may be a genetically modified super-soldier, or they may be a serene kung-fu master. Regardless of where they came from, the Sword can be found on the front lines trading blow for blow with the enemy.

Examples: Hawkgirl, Iron Fist, Midnighter

Common powers: high Prowess, Danger Sense, Multiple Attacks, Strike

The Tank

The Tank is an immovable object in a world of irresistible forces. The Tank may be inherently super-tough, they might wear high-tech armor, or they may be able to project an impenetrable force field. The Tank can take any damage the world can dish out, and then some.

Examples: Black Adam, Invisible Woman, Caitlin Fairchild

Common powers: high Brawn, high Willpower, Barrier, Force Field, Invulnerability

Van Dykes are not goatees. Goatees are not Van Dykes. For pete’s sake, use the right term. Calling a Van Dyke a “goatee” is like calling your beard your “eyebrows”.

What do you call a project management tool that doesn’t have any way to set task status, doesn’t have any way to set task prerequisites or dependencies, doesn’t have any form of time tracking, doesn’t have a way to set task priority, doesn’t have a way to move a task from one category to another, doesn’t have Gantt charts, and quite simply doesn’t have any of the fundamentally essential features of a project management system?

It’s called Basecamp. And they charge money for this garbage, believe it or not. Even more astonishing, people actually pay for it.

The $1 a month razor is actually $3 a month, including shipping. That actually sounds like a pretty good deal, if you like twin-blade razors. 60 of the Dollar Shave Club twin blades would be $36 (12 months at five cartridges per month).

Myself, I like the Bic Metal single-blade razor. You can get 60 on Amazon for $25. On the other hand, I still can’t find the box of those I bought a few years ago, and I really do need a shave….

I write to my Congress people every so often asking them to abolish the TSA (not reform, not privatize — abolish). If more people did so, at least the corruption would be more obvious.

Well, it looks like Bulletproof Blues will be released in time for MystiCon, and will have actual art in it (cover by Storn Cook, interior art by Dan Houser). This project is for the fun of it. If I’m lucky, it’ll break even: I have no illusions about making a profit on it. Back in the day, someone asked me how to make a small fortune in game publishing. I told him, “Start with a large fortune.”

Apparently, all the bitching we do about the prequels and the changes George Lucas made to the original Star Wars films actually hits home. He’s retiring from blockbusters and vows to never make another Star Wars movie because fanboys have scared him off.

(from Nerd Approved, George Lucas “Retires”, Blames Fans For Crushing His Spirit To Make Another Star Wars Film)

Personally, I think the whole Star Wars franchise started downhill with, “Luke, I am your father.” Every retcon, every perversion and “improvement” to Star Wars and the five sequels started there.

George Lucas is deluded. He lucked into creating a masterpiece because he was surrounded by brilliant people, and he’s spent the last 35 years trying to ruin it. Good riddance.

I have been so busy with the house fiasco and work, I haven’t been feeding my fish as often as I should. Two of my larger fish are missing, and there are suspicious remains in the back of the aquarium. Apparently, even a normally placid fish will eat its brethren when it gets hungry enough.

They are the 99%.

My black Swingline stapler broke a week ago, and I finally got around to buying a new one today. When I got home and was looking at the packaging, I noticed that it had a limited lifetime warranty. Wondering if my old stapler was also under warranty, I called the 800 number on the package.

After navigating through the menu, I finally reached a human being: a young woman, judging by her voice.

“ACCO Brands customer service. How may I help you?”

“Hi. I have a Swingline stapler, and it broke, and I was wondering if it was covered under warranty.”

“What is the model of the stapler?”

“It says Model 646 on the bottom.”

“And how long have you owned the stapler?”

“About fifteen years.”

… pause …

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am being serious.”

… pause …

“Okay… I think the warranty on that is one year, but let me check… Ah. That has a lifetime warranty. We will send you a new stapler. May I have your address?”

So I gave her my address, and she said the stapler should arrive in seven to ten days.

Now that’s a warranty.