[x]Blackmoor Vituperative

Thursday, 2022-08-11

MING 2024

Filed under: Humour,Movies,Politics,Television — bblackmoor @ 12:05

[I enjoy doing this sort of thing, and I think I have an eye for it. If I were a bit more ambitious, I would try to do it as a “side hustle”.]

“Psychological warfare has a new meme for your approval, Your Majesty.”

“What is this, Klytus: some new form of torture?”

“Most amusing, Your Majesty. These are a form of propaganda used on the Earth.”

(Ming examines the image)

“Would you like to explain why there is a Frigian labour beast next to the exalted name of MING THE MERCILESS, or should I call for the bore worms now?”

“Of course, Your Majesty may do as he pleases in all things, and I embrace the opportunity to display my undying loyalty. But as it happens, that is the current year according to the reckoning of the people of the planet ‘Earth’. The animal is a symbol of strength, ruthlessness, and nobility. It is known locally as a ‘jumbo’.”

“What primitive creatures these Earthlings are. And the purpose of this image?”

“Why, to grant the Earthlings hope, Your Majesty.”

“Hope?”

“Hope that you will show mercy, Your Majesty.”

(Ming pauses, then slowly claps, exactly three times)

(laughing) “Well done, Klytus. I look forward to reports on the psychological damage.”

(chuckling) “Thank you, Your Majesty. HAIL MING!”

P.S.

Being an actor must be such a strange job. You wear what someone else picked out, stand where they say to stand, and say what they wrote for you to say. And yet, it is so much more difficult to do than that makes it sound (I have only had a couple of amateur performances in my past, but it was enough to learn that much).

Then (if it’s film or whatever), you spend days, weeks, months, traveling from city to city just to sit and repeat the same half-dozen sentences about it for “interview” after “interview”. (Do they even get paid for any of that?)

And then, when the product is complete, you bear the brunt of the blame for the end result, even though you just did what you were told to do.

And whether you even get the job in the first place is dependent on factors so far beyond your control that joining Scientology or Keith Raniere’s bonkers sex cult seem like good alternatives.

Show business, man. It ain’t for sissies. (I think Betty White said that, originally, but I may be mistaken.)

Tuesday, 2022-08-09

Advice From The Patriarchy: English muffins

Filed under: Food — bblackmoor @ 14:20
"Because nothing says 'privilege' quite like offering unsolicited advice to an entire generation."

Most of the time, the brand doesn’t matter. Don’t waste your money. Buy store brands when you can.

However, no one makes English muffins like Thomas’ English Muffins. They are the English muffins to buy.

Bays are also quite good.

  • 1 Thomas English muffin
  • 1 slice Canadian bacon
  • 1 egg
  • 2 tbsp butter

Microwave egg at 50% for 2:30.

Season to taste.

Tuesday, 2022-07-05

Grass is not the enemy

Filed under: Ecology,Gardening — bblackmoor @ 12:17

Grass — “turf grass” — is very good at what it does. Your kids and dogs can play on it without getting muddy. It prevents erosion. It does not die back in winter, so it still protects against erosion from winter storms. There is grass suited to bright, hot areas, and there is grass suitable for colder, more shady areas. And turf grass is fairly easy to care for, if you choose an appropriate type of grass.

The problem with “lawns” is that Americans try to grow them in deserts, and/or dump chemicals on the ground trying to make the grass look like AstroTurf. If you live in a desert — if you must water your grass weekly just to keep it from dying — then don’t grow grass! And use any chemicals sparingly, if at all.

Grass is not the problem. Lawns are not the problem. Stupid people are the problem.

Friday, 2022-06-17

Advice From The Patriarchy: Stud Finders

Filed under: Home,Work — bblackmoor @ 13:09
"Because nothing says 'privilege' quite like offering unsolicited advice to an entire generation."

Advice From The Patriarchy: if you need a stud finder, the Franklin ProSensor is one of the very few that actually works.

Monday, 2022-06-06

The past is a different country

Filed under: Fine Living,History,Philosophy — bblackmoor @ 18:16

I had a sombre thought today. The world I grew up in doesn’t exist anymore. In some important ways, that’s a good thing. But it’s a bad thing, in a few ways. I feel sad for people who’ll never be able to live in it. Ah, well.

Thursday, 2022-05-19

Advice from the Patriarchy: Sardines

Filed under: Fine Living,Food,Humour — bblackmoor @ 10:25

Elevator pitch: Doughy old white dude (DOWD ?) offers useful advice to young people, based on things that he learned while living this long — with the disclaimer that at any moment, what he suggests might be rendered distasteful, ludicrous, or simply impossible by the passage of time.

I’d call it ADVICE FROM THE PATRIARCHY.

Today’s advice: Sardines are the best fish for you. They are sustainably harvested, full of healthy stuff (one of the few natural foods with Vitamin D, just for example), and no risk of bad stuff that may come with larger fish (no risk of ciguatera, for example). And King Oscar has the best sardines.

They are not good for you if you have gout, sadly. But if you are so afflicted, I suspect that you already knew this.

Later…

Advice From The Patriarchy … Because nothing says ‘privilege’ quite like offering unsolicited advice to an entire generation.”

See, I think that’s hilarious. But I suspect that the desired audience would not appreciate the joke.

Tuesday, 2022-05-17

Fame is fleeting

Filed under: Humour,Movies,Music,Society — bblackmoor @ 12:39

For no particular reason, the song “Fame”, by Irene Cara, came into my mind today. Google tells me it was released in 1980: 42 years ago. I haven’t heard it in very nearly that long, but I recall it clearly, and I even recall the name of the singer.

That is just how hugely popular that song was… briefly. And then nothing. When’s the last time you thought of it? How strange that is. The fleeting popularity of fame, so to speak.

It’s not really my style of pop song, and I still haven’t seen the eponymous movie, but even I loved the song and sang along to it, at the time. Of course, I was in my early teens then, and a boy, so I could never actually tell anyone I loved that song. It would have been indistinguishable to wearing a “call me a ‘homo’ and push me down” sign. (I’m not gay, and was even less so then, thanks to adolescent hormones, but bullies don’t place a high value on accuracy. Hopefully, my own miserable teen years helped distract the bullies from actual gay kids.)

Anyway, that’s not what compelled me to write this post. I’m writing this post because I asked Google to “play ‘Fame’ by Irene Cara on YouTube, on ‘downstairs group'” (my downstairs speakers). And, obligingly, it did (Google can be… contrary, sometimes).

And then it played “YMCA”, by the Village People.

And THAT made me laugh out loud.

Monday, 2022-05-16

Getting rid of Firefox’s “downloads” popup

Filed under: Software,The Internet — bblackmoor @ 15:12

Ever since Firefox 98 (I think), a popup appears every ten minutes or so, showing files that have been downloaded successfully (or not, I assume). Whether I have downloaded anything recently or not. It does not go away until I manually close it.

That is annoying. Here is how to fix it.

Go to about:config (accepting the warning along the way).

Change browser.download.alwaysOpenPanel to false.

Friday, 2022-05-13

Story hook: the Post Office Saves The World

Filed under: History,Prose,Technology,The Internet,Writing — bblackmoor @ 10:06

Imagine a world where Amazon and Google and Microsoft and Apple had the combined wealth and power of Mailboxes, Etc. …

Proposal: some services must never be operated for profit. As in, if you want the license to operate, you operate as not-for-profit, with all of the oversight and regulation that entails. What kind of services?

  • Hospitals
  • Military
  • Police
  • Post Offices
  • Prisons
  • Roads
  • Schools
  • Trains

Story hook: a team of people from 2080 go back to the 1960s to attempt to prevent the end of Human civilization. How? By lobbying legislators to put civilian use of ARPANET under exclusive control of the US Post Office before Robert Kahn and Vinton Cerf develop TCP/IP.

Update: In case this was unclear: if you put “Contracting Company” after any of these services, it should make NO DIFFERENCE. NONE. If you want the license to operate, you operate as not-for-profit, with all of the oversight and regulation that entails. We are at least a generation past the point where the “contractor” loophole should have been legislatively closed. Human beings are not “resources” to be squeezed dry and discarded.

Tuesday, 2022-05-03

Password expiration makes systems less secure

Filed under: Security,The Internet — bblackmoor @ 08:41

The consensus among security researchers has been consistent for about 15 years: forcing password expiration based on nothing but the date makes passwords less secure.

https://www.sans.org/blog/time-for-password-expiration-to-die/

Also relevant…

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