Blackmoor Vituperative

If you are like me (and I know I am), you buy juice mainly to mix it with alcohol. FUN FACT! Mr. & Mrs. T Spicy Bloody Bold & Mary Mix has 19 times as much juice as V8 Splash Berry Blend, and 8 times as much juice as Ocean Spray Cran-Blackberry.

• 95% – Mr. & Mrs. T Spicy Bloody Bold & Mary Mix
• 5% — V8 Splash Berry Blend
• 12% – Ocean Spray Cran-Blackberry

Et tu, Ocean Spray?

On the other hand, Mr & Mrs T Pina Colada Mix is literally just sugar water. “Natural and artificial flavors” comes after “titanium dioxide, potassium sorbate, sodium citrate” in the ingredients. Pineapple juice is not expensive (around $0.06 an ounce). Cream of coconut is not cheap, but it’s not that expensive (around $0.25 an ounce). Mr & Mrs T Pina Colada Mix costs about $0.10 an ounce.

Buying good rum or good vodka and then mixing it with sugar water is OFFENSIVE to me, on a deep and personal level.

The moral of this story is: READ THE LABEL. But if you want me to read them for you, here is what you should buy:

• Mr. & Mrs. T Spicy Bloody Bold & Mary Mix
• V8 Original 100% Vegetable Juice
• V8 Spicy Hot 100% Vegetable Juice
• Juicy Juice 100% Juice, Kiwi Strawberry
• Juicy Juice Mango Juice
• Juicy Juice 100% Strawberry Watermelon Juice
• Juicy Juice 100% Juice, Apple
• Juicy Juice 100% Juice, Tropical
• Juicy Juice 100% Orange Tangerine Juice
• Juicy Juice 100% Berry Juice
• Great Value 100% Lemon Juice
• Realemon 100% Lemon Juice
• Great Value Lime 100% Juice
• Realime 100% Lime Juice
• Libby’s 100% Pineapple Juice
• Great Value Orange 100% Juice
• Simply Orange Pulp Free Orange Juice
• Coco Lopez Real Cream of Coconut