Blackmoor Vituperative

Here are some tips on how to have a happy marriage, from someone who has been married for 28 years, and is still happy about it.

1. Date plenty of people long before you even think about marrying any of them. Have at least a few serious relationships. Fall in love. Make mistakes. Have your heart broken. Get over it. Fall in love again. Learn from your mistakes and become a better, wiser person. (Also, learn how to have sex competently, because that is not automatic.)
2. Live on your own for a few years (but with a roommate if you have to). Be responsible for your own rent, your own food, your own laundry, and your own time. Learn who you are when you are not living with your parents or at a college dorm. Learn how to survive on your own. Learn who you are.
3. Date someone (or even better, hang out as best friends) for at least a few years before you even think about marrying them. Have arguments. Make up. Be wrong. Apologize. Go on long trips together. Learn how to communicate. Learn what it means to commit to caring about someone long term. Learn how to compromise — and when not to compromise.
4. When you are finally thinking about marriage, live with someone at least a few months before proposing. Go over the household bills together. Learn everything about each other’s finances. Share a bedroom. Share a bathroom. Learn what it is like to live with this person — and let them learn what it is like to live with you.
5. Don’t go into debt for the wedding or the honeymoon. Not one penny.
6. Communicate. Pay attention. Listen, and talk, and listen more.
7. Don’t lie. Ever.